Why You Struggle to Keep Promises to Yourself: 7 Reasons and How to Start Showing Up
Have you ever found yourself making ambitious plans or overcommitting, to too many things, breaking your promises to yourself?
If so, you're certainly not alone. I know I've been there too.
We all have big dreams and ambitious goals, but actually following through on the commitments we make to ourselves can feel incredibly challenging.
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If you find yourself constantly breaking promises to yourself, here are the top 7 reasons why it might be happening:
Overcommitment
"oftentimes we are extremely ambitious with big dreams and big goals, and we want to do it all now. So we create this long list of habits or promises or commitments to ourselves. And we actually put ourselves in this own in our own hamster wheel, of having too many commitments that lead to overwhelm."
Misalignment with your true desires
"We get so caught up wanting to please other people seem as if we're there, being able to help being able to be willing right? And we do these things where we end up listening to society, our parents, our partners, our friends...versus with what your true desires are."
Setting goals that feel out of reach
"I need for you to set goals that you can attain...give it maybe 10% outside of that comfort zone of what's attainable right now. But when we're able to do achievable when we're able to create achievable and incremental goals. It allows for us to feel as if we're making progress."
Not seeing yourself as the type of person who can follow through
"One of the biggest and most important things in psychology in regards to creating and keeping habits and doing something for the long term, it's creating them based on the identity. How you view yourself."
Viewing promises as obligations, not opportunities
"We view them as I should be doing this, or I have to be doing this versus I get to. I'm honored enough to. I have the opportunity to."
Unwillingness to let go of old identities
"Oftentimes we don't commit to ourselves or our bigger dreams, because it means we have to let go of past versions of who we used to be."
Focusing too much on doing vs. being
"I think when it comes to self commitment showing up to ourselves. We focus a lot on action. What I need to do...but oftentimes we get so caught up in the what do I need to do that? We don't really focus on who do you need to be."
Tune in to the full podcast episode for an in-depth exploration of easy and how to integrate more of it in your life.
Intention to action
It’s time to take what you learned from my story and turn insight into action. Click on each dropdown for an intention and action:
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Action: Schedule time for your top 3 priorities before adding other commitments
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Action: Set goals that feel exciting and meaningful, not just what you "should" do
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Action: Reframe promises as chances to honor and invest in yourself
The key is translating each intention into just one concrete, achievable action. This makes it more likely you'll actually follow through on keeping the promises you make to yourself.
For more insightful content and to stay connected with me, follow me on Instagram @siennajbrown where you’ll find more stories, strategies, and sustainable systems as you create your next chapter!
