Overcoming Perfectionism & Healing Your Inner Child
Do you remember when your inner perfectionist first appeared?
We’ve all felt the heavy weight of perfectionism at some point, that nagging inner critic judging our every move, insisting we need to try harder. In this episode on Leading with Intention, I spoke with licensed counselor Des K. Norwood about the realities of overcoming deeply ingrained perfectionistic tendencies.
Listen on: APPLE || SPOTIFY || GOOGLE
Des describes perfectionism as “trying to control how people perceive me...I felt I needed people to perceive me in the right way.” From an early age, many of us learn to seek validation through external achievement rather than inner knowing. Des shares that her healing journey began when she started therapy and began examining her own core values versus society’s expectations.
The first step? Awareness.
Des emphasizes, “This is a very strong neural pathway. This is a way you’ve been operating for as long as you can remember...it takes time to be aware.” We can gradually replace harsh self-talk with true self-compassion by questioning what motivates and triggers our perfectionism.
Return to the freedom of self-expression without judgment.
On this journey of growth and change, perfectionists may struggle to envision themselves as carefree children full of light. To reconnect with our inner child, Des suggests transporting yourself back to youthful activities that brought joy, whether dance, finger painting, or playground games.
Leading with the intention of unconditional self-acceptance allows our most authentic selves to unfold with grace.
While the influence of past dynamics can feel inescapable, we always have permission to rewrite limiting narratives that constrain rather than serve us. As Des affirms, “you are safe to show up as you are.”
What spoke to you most in Des’s wisdom? How will you put her excellent advice into action this week? Take a moment this week to reflect on what motivates and triggers your perfectionism.
Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and reconnect with activities that bring you joy without judgment.
As Des so beautifully articulates, beneath any persona seeking validation lives a wise inner self waiting patiently to be heard. May we meet ourselves there.
Tune in to the full podcast episode for an in-depth exploration of this transformative journey.
Remember, the path to self-acceptance starts with small steps, and each step brings you closer to the freedom of embracing your true, authentic self.
Intention to Impact
It's time to take what you learned and move from intention to action.
Click the themes that resonate with you most to find an intention and an action to integrate into your daily life.
-
Intention: Understand core values and embrace joy-inducing activities.
Action: Identify three core values and schedule time for one joy-inducing activity this week. Develop self-awareness through journaling about your experiences.
-
Intention: Gradual healing from perfectionism requires patience.
Action: Set aside 10 minutes daily for mindfulness or meditation. Acknowledge moments of self-criticism, replacing them with self-compassionate affirmations.
-
Intention: Embrace authenticity confidently; you are safe to be yourself.
Action: Practice self-affirmations in front of a mirror daily. Challenge one perfectionistic thought by reframing it with self-acceptance.
-
Intention: Foster curiosity for ongoing personal growth.
Action: Set aside time for self-reflection each week. Explore a new interest or hobby to nurture personal curiosity.
-
Intention: Recognize and address perfectionistic tendencies.
Action: Keep a perfectionism journal. Record instances when perfectionism arises, analyze triggers, and brainstorm self-compassionate responses.
For more insightful content and to stay connected with me, follow me on Instagram @siennajbrown where you’ll find more stories, strategies, and sustainable systems as you create your next chapter!
You can follow Desirèe on Instagram @itsdesireekaye to learn more about overcoming perfectionism and mindfulness integration.
